HANZO'S REVENGE: April 2011

Saturday, April 30, 2011

HOW 'BOUT SOME CATS...

WTF! NO YOU CAN'T KEEP IT!

I'M "LITTLE G" AND WHEN I GROW UP...

CAT TV.

THAT ASHTON IS A TOUGH BASTARD! WHO NAMES A CAT ASHTON?

SHOW ME THE OIL!

GARFIELD ON THE OIL CRISIS

A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country.
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Well, there's a very simple answer.
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Nobody bothered to check the oil.
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We just didn't know we were getting low.
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The reason for that is purely geographical.
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Our OIL is located in:
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ALASKA
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California
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Coastal Florida
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Coastal Louisiana
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Coastal Alabama
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Coastal Mississippi
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Coastal Texas
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North Dakota
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Wyoming
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Colorado
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Kansas
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Oklahoma
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Pennsylvania
~~~ And
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Texas
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Our dipsticks are located in DC
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Any Questions? NO? Didn't think So

Saturday, April 23, 2011

POTUS OR POS?

AIR FORCE ONE... SYMBOL OF THE WORLD'S GREATEST FREE NATION

SYMBOL OF A THIRD WORLD REFUGEE WHO CAN'T FIND HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE, AND WHEN HE DOES IT WILL PROBABLY LOOK FAKE.

APRIL 22nd, EARTH DAY, HE FLIES 3 DAYS FOR POLITICAL FUNDRAISING. USES 53,300 GALLONS OF KEROSENE FOR $180,000, WHAT WAS YOUR LAST FILL-UP? HOW'S THAT BICYCLE LOOKING?

YEP... THAT'S YOUR WHEELS HUNG UP AS HISTORICAL ART. SOCIALISM AT THE HANDS OF WANNA BE DICTATORS.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

THE FINGER!

Leading the fight is U S Marine Gunnery Sgt. Michael Burghardt, known as 'Iron Mike' or just 'Gunny'. He is on his third tour in Iraq . He had become a legend in the bomb disposal world after winning the Bronze Star for disabling 64 IEDs and destroying 1,548 pieces of ordnance during his second tour.

Then, on September 19, he got blown up.... He had arrived at a chaotic scene after a bomb had killed four US Marines.. He chose not to wear the bulky bomb protection suit. 'You can't react to any sniper fire and you get tunnel-vision,' he explains. So, protected by just a helmet and standard-issue flak jacket, he began what bomb disposal officers term 'the longest walk', stepping gingerly into a 5 foot deep and 8 foot wide crater.

The earth shifted slightly and he saw a Senao base station with a wire leading from it. He cut the wire and used his 7 inch knife to probe the ground. 'I found a piece of red detonating cord between my legs,' he says. 'That's when I knew I was screwed.' Realizing he had been sucked into a trap, Sgt Burghardt, 35, yelled at everyone to stay back. At that moment, an insurgent, probably watching through binoculars, pressed a button on his mobile phone to detonate the secondary device below the sergeant's feet 'A chill went up the back of my neck and then the bomb exploded,' he recalls. 'As I was in the air I remember thinking, 'I don't believe they got me...' I was just ticked off they were able to do it. Then I was lying on the road, not able to feel anything from the waist down.'
His fellow Marines cut off his trousers to see how badly he was hurt. None could believe his legs were still there 'My dad's aVietnam vet who's paralyzed from the waist down,' says Sgt Burghardt. 'I was lying there thinking I didn't want to be in a wheelchair next to my dad and for him to see me like that... They started to cut away my pants and I felt a real sharp pain and blood trickling down. Then I wiggled my toes and I thought, 'Good, I'm in business.' As a stretcher was brought over, adrenaline and anger kicked in. 'I decided to walk to the helicopter. I wasn't going to let my team-mates see me being carried away on a stretcher.' He stood and gave the insurgents who had blown him up a one-fingered salute. 'I flipped them one.. It was like, 'OK, I lost that round but I'll be back next week.'

Copies of a photograph depicting his defiance, taken by Jeff Bundy for the Omaha World-Herald, adorn the walls of homes across America and that of Col John Gronski, the brigade commander in Ramadi, who has hailed the image as an exemplar of the warrior spirit.

Sgt Burghardt's injuries - burns and wounds to his legs and buttocks - kept him off duty for nearly a month and could have earned him a ticket home... But, like his father - who was awarded a Bronze Star and three Purple Hearts for being wounded in action in Vietnam - he stayed in Ramadi to engage in the battle against insurgents who are forever coming up with more ingenious ways of killing Americans.

Friday, April 8, 2011

FOOLS PARADISE

WOULD YOU BUY A CHEVY VOLT FROM THIS GUY?

WORLD'S GREATEST FRAUD ON THE USA.

GHADAFFY DUCK IS KICKING OBUMMER'S ASS!

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

RANDY RANDY!

RANDY MOORE, A MOTORCYCLE GARAGE WOMAN,

EVERY GARAGE NEEDS ONE.

Cowboy at the Pearly Gates!
Got to love a real cowboy, we just don't make enough of these guys any more!!

Cowboy at the Pearly Gates! A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

'Have you ever done anything of particular merit?' St. Peter asked.

'Well, I can think of only one thing,' the cowboy offered.

'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota , I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!'

St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?'

'Couple of minutes ago.'